Object jokes
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
What did the plate say to the other plate?
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
You can unscrew a light bulb.