Object jokes
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
What is a pile of balls?
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
What did the plate say to the other plate?
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.