Can a box match? No, but a tin can.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
What is brown and extremely sticky.......A stick
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: Whats brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
Playing a game called 7-up. Student- why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers? Teacher- it's cheating! Student- No! it's the object of the game.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
