Nut jokes
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Do nut get in my way.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Why is my butt wet? I forgot.
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
"Deez nutz" are a hairline.
"Dez nuts, bell suck and she ugly."
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!