Nut jokes
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
I love my family.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.