Nut jokes
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
I love my family.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.