
Nut jokes
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What is a magic car? One that flies!
What's bad? A nut allergy.
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
Who's Joe?
Joe Mama sucks my fat nuts, bitch!
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
you.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.
Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.
And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")
But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)
Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket
So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long
My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
DEEZ NUTS!
