Nut jokes
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.