Nut jokes
What is a dog?
A pet.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
Do you know Biden?
Biden on these nuts.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
Knock knock.
Me, a person: Who's there?
A: Deez nuts!
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."