Nut jokes
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
I love my family.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Memes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?