Nut jokes
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
I love my family.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.