Nut jokes

Peanut butter 🧈?

What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.

What nut is broken? A silly nut!

What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?

Christmas!

Isac, I suck deez nuts!

Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

No, why?

Boy are deez nuts so big.

To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".

Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

Imposter: Did you do Sawcon task?

Crewmate: What's Sawcon?

Imposter: Sawcon deez nuts!

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

*at school*

Nobody: Do you want nuts?

Me: Wait, you have some?

Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.

Me: :0

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!

Imagine a dragon 🤔.

Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.

Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.

Hupun DEEZ NUTS!

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!