Nut jokes
Peanut butter 🧈?
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
Isac, I suck deez nuts!
Memes
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Joe Biden deez nuts.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
Imposter: Did you do Sawcon task?
Crewmate: What's Sawcon?
Imposter: Sawcon deez nuts!
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.
Hupun DEEZ NUTS!
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"