Nut jokes
Do nut get in my way.
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
What's bad? A nut allergy.
Joe Biden deez nuts.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"
A magic nut.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
"DEEZ NUTS"
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Candis.
Candis who?
Candis nuts fit in your mouth?
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!