Number

Number Jokes

Lightbulb

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More than three because the basement is still dark!

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  • Mom

    Me: Can I get your mom's number?

    Friend: Here you go:

    Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

    Kitten

    How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

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  • Murder

    Why was Six afraid of Seven?

    Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.

    Daycare

    Why was 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

    Husband

    Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

    Wife: Aww, thanks.

    Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

    Comment

    We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

    Body

    When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”

    1800s

    Why were the 1800s so crazy?

    Because of Hairriet Tubman.

    I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.

    Toilet

    What did the kid say to the toilet?

    "Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

    Orphan

    An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.