Not jokes

What type of cake can orphans not have?

Homemade.

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.

Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

"Ton."

I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.