Not jokes

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Why don't orphans drink milk?

'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.

I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

"Ton."

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

"Heard of what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Of course I've heard of cows."

"No, a cow herd."

"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.