Not jokes

Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.

What type of cake can orphans not have?

Homemade.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.

My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

"Ton."

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?