Not jokes
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
It's not Minecraft.
It's Ourcraft!
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser