Not jokes
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.