Not jokes
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. đ
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
Memes
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
The towers collapsed on 9/10, not 9/11.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
Guys, donât suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I canât even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."