Not jokes
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
Memes
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.