Not jokes

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

How do you know your baby is dead?

It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?

Because they have to land at houses.

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”

Dear prince,

Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.

You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

What is not the definition of prostitution?

A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.