Not jokes

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.

You're dumb, but that's not what she said.

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

This is American politics that is not true.

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.

If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

What can orphans not do in school?

Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?

Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.