Not jokes

Family

  • Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”

    Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”

    Son: “So your friend is gay?”

    Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»

    Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”

    Father loudly: “YES!!!”

    Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”

    Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»

    Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”

    *A few hours later*

    Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”

    Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”

    Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”

    The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».

    *The End* :D

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  • Gwen

  • Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!

    KGB

  • The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

    The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

    The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

    "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

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  • Skin

  • Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

    Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

    Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

    Bully: Ew, no I don't!

    Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

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  • Life

  • My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

    This is not a joke; this is just about death...

    Bellybutton

  • Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

    A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.

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  • Travel

  • So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

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  • Difference

  • What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

    An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

    Website

  • If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

    You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

    Emo kid

  • Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

    Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

    Me: I have no bullet holes.

    Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

    Me: Ayo what the fuc*.