Not jokes
Why do orphans not play bingo?
Because they don’t know what a full house is.
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
Hi, I did not get your walk.
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
Memes
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.
"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.
She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!