Not jokes

Why did the boy not cross the road?

Because he was on thin ice.

Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.

This is not a joke. This is not a joke.

I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Not a joke.

Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.

When is a door not a door?

Why can't orphans be home schooled?

Because they have no parent to home school them.

Bob has no arms.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"It's not Bob."

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?

My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"

Comment down below, does your grandma do this?