Not jokes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
Quote Of The Day:
It's okay to struggle.
It's not okay to give up.
When is a cold not a cold?
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to get home, that's for sure.
Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.