Not jokes
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Hi Gwen, how is life!
A. Bad, lame, and suckish.
B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!
C. Perfect!
I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!
If you think this joke is funny, give it a dislike. If you think it is not funny, give it a like.
Memes
Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Villager: KNOCK KNOCK
Steve: Who's there?
Villager: I'm not talking anymore.
Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.