Not jokes
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
Comment for VBUCKS.
Sub to me on YouTube, it's my friend and he has aids, send him joeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."