Not jokes

What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?

Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.

Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.

An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.

This is not a joke. Stop online dating.

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.

I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.

Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.

My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.

She does not exist.

Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.

A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

Why does an orphan not play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

What should you name a dog without any legs?

It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.