Not jokes

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.

Sally fell off the swing.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not Sally.

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!

How do you know it's full?

Because there's not mushroom inside.

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.