Not jokes
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Is anyone else on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop?
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
Why are orphans not on this?
They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!