Not jokes

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

John Toberty is not funny.

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!

Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Sally fell off the swing.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not Sally.

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.

What do asses and secrets have in common?

Both are better when not leaked!

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.