Not jokes

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

Why does an orphan not play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

What should you name a dog without any legs?

It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.

A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?

A family restaurant.

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?

One does not crow when you put it in an oven.

What animal can not be trusted?

A lion 🦁.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?

smart

kind

sweet

caring

loving

mature

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.

Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.