Not jokes

This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

What animal can not be trusted?

A lion 🦁.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.

I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?

smart

kind

sweet

caring

loving

mature

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.

Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?

A family restaurant.

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?

One does not crow when you put it in an oven.

A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

What should you name a dog without any legs?

It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

Why does an orphan not play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.

She does not exist.

Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.

Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.