Not jokes
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
Why do the orphans not play baseball?
They can never find home.
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.