Not jokes
What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
What's big and round?
Mine and not yours.
What does NASA stand for?
Not Another Strong Astronaut.
How cool is NASA?
Not cool at all.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.