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Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."

Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?

Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?

Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.

Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.

  • 4

    • A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

    The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

    The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

    *Principal:* What is 3+3?

    *Boy:* 6.

    *Principal:* 6+6.

    *Boy:* 12.

    The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

    *Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

    *Boy:* Legs.

    *Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?

    *Boy:* Pockets.

    *Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

    *Boy:* Coconut.

    *Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

    The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

    *Boy:* Bubble gum.

    *Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

    *Boy:* Tent.

    *The principal was looking restless*

    *Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

    *Boy:* Wedding ring.

    *Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

    *Boy:* Nose.

    *Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

    *Boy:* Arrow.

    *Principal:* O MY GOD.

    *Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

    *Boy:* Fork.

    *Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

    *Boy:* Surname.

    *Principal:* Ohooo !

    *Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

    *Boy:* Heart.

    *Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"

    So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

    I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

    The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

    My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

    Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!

    My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."