Not jokes

Pound

    • I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.

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    Animal

    • My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

    I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

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    • Fat

    • Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):

    "You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"

    Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".

  • 3
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    Self Harm

    • If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

  • 2

    • Difference

    • What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

    An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

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    Death

    • I can tell a joke :)

    Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

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    • Face

    • Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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    Fridge

    • My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

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