Not jokes
When is a cold not a cold?
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
Please write your comment.
But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?
You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"