in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark, that instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed? His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.
My friend said to me that I am gay my response I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night
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Last night i had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't REEL
random Couple after their first night : Husband: it was very tasty.🥵 wife: aww thanks. Hus: does anyone had taste it before? wife:☠️
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night lol
Kate ate food coloring last night she said she was dying inside
Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage, he replied," Yes I'm very happy. We go on date night every week. The other man asked when? She goes on wednesday and I go on thursday
went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, parents aren't home.
If you give a man a mach he is warm for the night but if you light a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life :)
Knock Knock moon, GIVE ME CHEESE
One day little johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked what is that daddy. Dad"Oh that's my snake." The next day little johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and askes what is that mom says"that's my bushes" the next day Little johnny cant sleeps so he goes into his parents room and asks dad why is your snake going into moms bushes.
One day I was on my phone then I got a text message from my Girl Friend, "Hey Sexy boy wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean..." then I just stopped and froze I read the message I said, "Yeah sure..." she replied really fast, "Theres going to be a few people there ok." but i didn't read the next message... she said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." but i didn't read it I walked into her house but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise and it sounded like HER!! so I hide behind the couch and I looked through the open door and saw somthing I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
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