Night jokes

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.

What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?

Goddammit, Jamal!

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

What do people ask on a Friday night?

"Hey, wanna go to the Barb?"

What does Joyce do on a Saturday night?

Netflix and Will? Will? WILL!? WIIIILLLL?

How do you find Will Smith?

You look for the Fresh Prince.

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

Last night I slipped on a banana.

My friend said it was a-peeling!