Worst Jokes Ever
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.