Worst Jokes Ever
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
I went to Pen Island for vacation this summer. There were a lot of bones.
You're gay.
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Porn *sex noises*
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
Let me Lickitung until you Squirtle.
A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"
"Baking a cake."
The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.
"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.