Worst Jokes Ever
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
Why did the blind man fall down a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”