Worst Jokes Ever
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
fff.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.