Worst Jokes Ever
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Well, the "HOLE" story is, I shoved it up her hole.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.