Worst Jokes Ever
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
Wanna hear a mean joke?
My life.
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
What do you call a hillbilly girl who's faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
Women’s rights.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
What do Doges like? Memes.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!