Worst Jokes Ever

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?

Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Son: Why?

Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.

Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?

Asgard.

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What is a terrorist's DJ name?

Osama Spin Laden.

Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.

Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?

Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.

Jimmy: Your mom is gay.

Me: No, you.

Jimmy: I have no mom.

What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?

Nose-less.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?

Igloos it.