Worst Jokes Ever
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I suck dick.
Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Joe, I wish you had never asked me to scout for a fresh tight end.
Why is Megan a down?
Because her last name is Downy.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.