Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the bitch’s house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
My penis is on fire.
Yeetus.
Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?
There are 20 8 year olds.
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.