Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."

Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”

He responded with, “The cat is dead.”

She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”

“She’s playing on the roof.”

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  • What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"

    What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?

    The British are cumming! The British are cumming!

    I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

    PS free sex at my name

    Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

    A: So she can moan with the other.

  • 9
  • After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

    Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

    Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

    Lord: "My dog died?!"

    Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

    Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

    Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

    Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

    Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

    Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

    Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

  • 4
  • The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.

    A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.

    Find Jaiden.

    Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke Joke

    Jaiden got lost after I looked for Jokes.

    Also the Category is Jesus because Jesus got lost as well.