Worst Jokes Ever
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."