Worst Jokes Ever
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
Q: I wish my grass was emo.
A: Then it would cut itself.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
Why is the Navy gay?
There all seamen.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
Evans so gay I mouth kissed him.