Worst Jokes Ever
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Couy.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.