What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
