The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What’s a rapper’s favorite MUSICAL NOTE?
G major.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
