Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
What did one ghost say to another ghost?
"You're boo-tiful!"
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry, it's just a joke."
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
I saw a kid crying and I asked him, "Where are his parents?"
God, I love working at orphanages!
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!