Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
Sleep, but make it forever.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What will Reddit be without the robot logo?
Reddot.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
I like peanut butter and honey.
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
The joke is my life.
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
