Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
Hi stone, I'm watching.
You die. LOL!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Why did my dad leave me?
Because I was gay.
My dad died in 9/11.
But he was the pilot.
Fuck y'all, orphan lives matter!
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.