I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?
A horse can't hoop.
Your the wrist slitting simulator champion
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
Hair (DYM 81).
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree which would hit the ground first?
the apple, because the rope caught the emo kid
Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? You nail its other hand to the floor
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!
Yo momma so fat!
