How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Daddy's Home.
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?
None fave. Foch heads.
Where your mom at?
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
what is an orphans least favorite song? we are family
