Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
Your mom is a joke.
You're all gay. HEHEHE!
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
"Get a life, dum dums!"
Says the fucking moron.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
Why did the cheetah go to school?
To be a cheetah.
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.