Worst Jokes Ever
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"
"Give away my Money, No Papa,"
"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."
El/11: Ego, My Lego.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
What's Jack's favorite flower? A rose.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.
All Nepali love momos.
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
What do you call a room with no doors?
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.