No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
Never eat more than you can lift.
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
Why can’t orphans play baseball
Cause they can never hit a homerun
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
why do orphin's have water with there ceral because the dad never came back with the milk
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? There dad can’t wake them up
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
