Never jokes

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can never find home.

You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."

Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?

A: A rapist.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

Why should you never give an orphan a phone?

Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."

The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.

The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.

The third lady says, "I never had a husband."

The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."

They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.

The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."

"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"