Never jokes

A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

How can you tell an Asian guy is awake?

You can never tell.

How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.

A lion would never drive while drunk.

But a tiger wood.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.

Kobe never died, he just faded away.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?

Because they are always sucking dick.

What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?

I've never sucked on dicks.

What should you never say to an orphan?

"Your Mom."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Pizza.

Pizza who?

Never mind, it was so cheesy.

Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

Why can't orphans play Monopoly?

Because they never get a full house.

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.