Need jokes
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
Memes
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.