Need jokes
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.
Who even needs white jokes?
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.
Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."