Need jokes

Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

Does your cat scratch you?

Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.

What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?

Their place.

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?

Because they need parents' signature.

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.

Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.

You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.

That face needing some laughing pills.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."